We live in a culture that demands instant gratification. We have drive-thru’s for food, bank and even groceries. We want high-speed internet for a faster connection. We can now stream tv and movies and get upset when there is “buffering”. We want our coffee hot, our internet fast, and our lines to always be short and when we don’t get it we get upset. But for some reason we expect our children to be patient and wait. Our culture teaches that we should do whatever feels good. Don’t worry about the consequences or what comes after…just do it. This is counter to what parents and educators are trying to teach the youth of today. Parents tell their kids to “hold on”, Teachers try and teach students to “wait their turn” but the messages of American society tell our students to demand that they get exactly what they want when they want it.
So what then shall we do?
- We teach impulse control. This is a tough lesson to learn and in some instances a harder lesson to teach. But impulse control is desperately needed. We teach that just because you feel like doing something or saying something doesn’t mean you have to actually do it. There are a variety of ways to do this including through card games such as slap jack or war; through activities such as musical chairs, red light/green light or even freeze tag. The goal is to teach your kids to be able to stop themselves.
- We teach empathy. We teach our children to think about the other people around them. It is important to think about how our actions, behaviors and words affect others. Books and movies can be a great resource to help launch conversations about how we are all connected.
- We teach consequences. We are all free to choose but there are consequences for every choice we make and we have to accept the consequences of our actions. Lack of impulse control can lead to missed play time, to extra chores or loss of points at school. As parents we often want to protect our kids but allowing kids to experience consequences especially natural consequences is necessary for future development.
- We demonstrate patience. We show our children that we will survive if we have to wait an extra 5 minutes in line (You could even use that time to talk with your kids or work on spelling or reading skills with what is around you). We show our children how to stay calm and wait.
In a world where we want everything faster, it can be difficult to remember that not everything needs to happen immediately. By stopping and thinking through our choices sometimes we see an even better choice that would have been missed if we had gone with our first impulse. Let’s help our kids learn this same idea of having impulse control. It just might make our world a better place to live.